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Party attendance - KW (14th Jul 2024  15:52:39) Hi Liphook Talkback, we have a child with additional needs, one of the Syndromes, and he never seems to get invited to birthday parties or friends houses. He did when they were all babies but recently he’s been left out of the latest round of parties. His older sibling now seldom gets invited either and we’re guessing this is because of his needs and inability to be at others houses and behave well. Should we confront our friends to see why they don’t feel comfortable with having him in their house or should be simply accept our social life has changed for forever more?

Re: Party attendance - Victoria (14th Jul 2024  17:24:45) Editor please feel free to pass on my email to this lovely parent! Me and my friend would be more than happy to bring our children to the park one day in the summer so that your son has people to play with and socialise with! No one should ever be left out because they have additional needs! Broke our hearts reading your post x

Re: Party attendance - Polly (14th Jul 2024  18:32:04) That’s really sad to hear. I would question whether the ‘friends’ you talk about are really that. Real friends accept you for who you are, and that includes your children. Perhaps try and widen your friendship circle. Post on Liphook Mums,(dads too 😊) Facebook page explaining your circumstances and asking if anyone would like to meet up. I’m sure you’ll get a positive response.

Re: Party attendance - RG (14th Jul 2024  19:06:17) You've written because of his needs and inability to be at others houses and behave well. Is this because you know of an instance of misbehaviour? Or you think that's what people are concerned will happen? If you haven't already maybe try arranging individual playdates, then small group playdates yourself at your own home/garden or a mutual outside location. Children are generally very accepting of other children but they are also likely to say if they notice a child misbehaving at school/nursery which could concern their parents/carers. Also consider if you are isolating yourself from other parent/carers or constantly highlighting your child's differences because they could take that as a sign that you'd rather they weren't included.

Re: Party attendance - Ricardo (15th Jul 2024  17:18:36) Can I ask have you invited everyone to your house/party or are you simply expecting to be invited elsewhere?

Re: Party attendance - Sam (15th Jul 2024  19:41:40) I’m guessing KW as you’re on this platform asking this question and seeking guidance that you would appear to be isolated yourself too. Maybe the issue isn’t with the child but your parenting style. Do you attend these events and expect everyone else to parent your children while you enjoy yourself?

Re: Party attendance - Kelly (16th Jul 2024  12:39:51) I assume the school he’s attending is not a specific special needs one so he probably does stand out among his fellow students. If he attended a school with other children with additional needs they would all attend each other’s parties as they would all be alike. So maybe it would be best for all involved if you surrounded yourself and your family with other families with similar challenges instead of in environments where you don’t feel wanted or you stand out.

Re: Party attendance - Kelly (16th Jul 2024  18:15:28) @ KW, I’m guessing that the flooring in your house has been completed to accommodate the odd spill and accident as would others with disabled children would have. So making friends with people who are facing similar challenges might be best for you and your family instead of trying to gather support for the bee which you seem to have in your bonnet. I know I wouldn’t be impressed if I had to get the carpet cleaners in every time you mr family came round to my house. I would obviously just not invite you.

Re: Party attendance - er (16th Jul 2024  22:05:46) Oh Kelly I hear what your saying, you sound so perfect and your floors too, damn those clumsy disabled kids and their orange juice paper cups! I feel your deep pile man made fibre pain, god forbid anyone who might ever spill anything on your perfect flooring comes over, Kelly or is it Karen, we hope you never change and your carpets retain their Scotch Guard spray on, out of a bottle perfection, you can teach us so much about humanity, have you ever considered a career on Tik Tok?

Re: Party attendance - David (17th Jul 2024  20:33:28) @ er, I don’t believe we have many additional needs people in the village.

Re: Party attendance - Joe (18th Jul 2024  08:38:02) Hi ER unless you have done a survey and gathered results from every household in Liphook how would you know? Not every disability is visible. I know personally of at least 3 different cases of mental disability where the person has not left the house in many years.

Re: Party attendance - Ricardo (22nd Jul 2024  14:24:32) Children with disability get on far better when they are in an environment with kids of similar capability as their own. When children see how different they are it can often shatter their fragile confidence and they may not recover. But when they with their own they don't feel different. This is why special needs schools were set up in the first place.

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